If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
