the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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