I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
