Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
