So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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