how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize