i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
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