I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I need a burrito and a hug.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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