Your mouth is God's brothel.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Blood and glitter go together right?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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