You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize