before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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