Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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