Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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