i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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