My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize