Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
