your parents love me but you hate me
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
