If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
