I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize