Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
