with your own penis?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
