Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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