It's Friday. Sex?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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