that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
