I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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