Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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