I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
