Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
