Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
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Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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