Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize