I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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