So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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