DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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