I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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