he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
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Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
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I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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