Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
