I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
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I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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