mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
