I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
