I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
