i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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