This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
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Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
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Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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