I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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