so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
