Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
