I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
