Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
