i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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