god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
