This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
