there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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