Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize