..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
