the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
