Me. At least after what I've been through.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
