the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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