I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We are all done wearing pants today
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
