he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize