They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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