I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
