im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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