Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
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you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
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That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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